I write this to just get some words out, that who we are gets implanted pretty quickly as we grow up, from childhood to early teens. With our parents and how we are brought up, to our environment and life lessons. Which then becomes harder to unlearn as we get older.
When I was growing up, I didn’t always have my parents, I didn’t always have a stable family. There was trust broken, promises made and not kept and people coming in and out of my life at a very young age. I’ve dealt with death of family members and betrayal of them too in my early teens. Which has left me not being able to make great connections with people as I think they’re going to leave, not because I want to think that, but because of my prior learning that’s what I’ve been lead to believe.
It’s also been a road that’s left me in deep depression doing things I’m not proud of. It was one day I decided that I had to change all of that. I saw that there was people out there that actually did care about me and wanted to protect me. It was something that I had to learn, and it was very difficult. But it was something I was whiling to do. I made the changes myself, and made it a goal to start trusting people. This was only a few years ago now, when I was about 20 years old.
But I’ve gotten almost all of the way there, I’m trusting people and able to make friends and keep friends without worry that they’ll leave or betray. It’s not perfect but it’s better than the way I used to be. I’m able to ignore the negativity and concentrate on what makes me happy and be secure in the fact.
I’m happy with where I’m at, I’m getting on with my life, doing incredible things. I’m not negative with my outlook on life. But I do have those down days, but I know that each time is a little easier to get back on top. I love my life and love my friends who will always stick by me. Even though sometimes it’s overwhelming to know someone that truly cares about me, as I’m not always used to it.
All I’m trying to say is that in the first 15 years of our lives who we are as a person is forever changing with who we are brought up and learn how to deal with problems that may present to us. After that it starts to become difficult to learn new ways or relearn them. So to everyone that comes across someone who isn’t perfect, remember that they might be having a really tough time trying to recognize “normal” social interaction because they might not have learned how to the same way you have. So just be patient, try and understand them, and help them through.